As long as you are there part 1
by autumn-leaf16
Summary: Like some other, I have put my own character in it, only that she (Minta) is actually his wife. Ok: Part 1, Sayid's marriage seems to be falling apart as his wife no longer talks. (COMPLETE)
1. Will you never forgive me?

_Disclaimer: own nothing of lost. If I do, Sayid will come out way more._

_Author's Note: I start to write this as on that day I got off the school early and was waiting for the bus by myself, as there is refill handy and I suddenly got this random as idea, I decided to do some writing. Obviously, Sayid is my favorite character, and I actually really like him being with Shannon. By the way, this story have strong religious views so if these kind of stuff offend you, please don't read it. Yes, I know that there are tons of mistakes, I suck at typing, hence why I always write my stories onto paper. And I still don't get grammars…_

Whenever he could spare his eyes, he would always rest them on her. Maybe she was aware of the love and pleading that mingled with his sorrowful gaze, or maybe she was honestly staring into the vacancy of the ocean.

He found it so ironic that he, skilled and trained in interpreting feelings and emotions, could not read any of these expressions in her lovely eyes. Once, these large eyes were the reflection of her heart's despair and love, the only traitor to her emotions.

Her hair was loose and the wind tossed one or two strands into the air. He recalled the many times he had wrapped a lock around his finger, her hair was the colour of midnight but unlike his, it was only slightly curly. Her skin had always been the shade of a healthy tan, the olive skin was now a bit darker, but still paler then his skin.

Her eyes…once so bright, they had been the colour of a rich mocha and he was fond of teasing her by saying her eyes were like coffee, "as I immediately lose all drowsiness just by taking a single glance." But the richness of the colour had been smothered by despair, robbing their shininess away.

She was still in the blue dress, and he desperately wished that she would change it. The dress was no longer the reminder of how they had walked happily on the beach, it was now the symbol of her breakdown.

"Will you never forgive me, Minta?" he whispered brokenly.

"Sayid!" Jack called out, eager to start the trip to the water supplies.

"I am coming," Sayid replied, tearing his eyes away from her. The flower he had picked for her this morning was still in her unmoving hands, the petals lightly brushing the wedding ring. The only hopeful sign was her necklace, the golden cross was still pressing against her throat.

"What must I do?" he asked himself, now in despair.


	2. Of course I want to be with you

"Minta," his tone was so humble, so pitiful that none of them could connect him with the man who had busily issued orders and planned expeditions so naturally.

At the sight of him her eyes immediately widened and she took an automatic step backward. As he caught her one arm her body trembled and shook, the flower fell to the ground.

"Stay with them in the caves," he implored, "I will die if you come to any harm."

Sayid then turned to Walt, the young boy stopped his games with his dog straightaway when the ex-soldier walked up with a very somber expression. He guessed rightly that a semi office was to be assigned to him.

"Will you help me, Walt?" seeing the child's eager nod Sayid smiled so slightly. "Do you know how asthmatic people behave when they have an attack?" Another nod. "Minta have asthma, if she have any attacks then will you tell me immediately?"

"Aye, aye Captain." Walt answered with a smart salute.

As Sayid returned the salute to humor the child, Michael noticed the wedding ring on Sayid's finger, so they were husband and wife. Having suffered a failed marriage he easily realized the relationship between Sayid and Minta.

Yet he could not fully understand Minta's actions as her husband was being to tender and loving to her, unlike Jin and Sun. It was clear that Sayid restrained himself from touching his wife as she feared him, but what was it that caused this?

Even though Michael was not really close to Sayid, he wanted to save their marriage out of the fact that his own marriage had failed.

"Sayid, I can help." Michael offered.

"No, you will not be able to help me unless you can somehow erase the past away." The Iraqi man said bitterly, glancing down at his hands. "And I don't blame her one bit."

"Can you not talk to her? Maybe Sun or Jin…"

"She is American!" Sayid interrupted angrily. "English is her first language.

"Look Michael," he said softly, "A week ago Minta had a nervous breakdown because of me, and since that day she simply stopped talking."

"So she understands every word we have said about her?" Michael finally said, after a long lapse of silence. "I am sorry but I thought she was Korean as she looked rather oriental, a bit like Sun."

The other man shrugged. "I don't even know whether she is still in this world sometimes, the way she stares vacantly. As for your other question, her parents are Jewish immigrants from Russia. But Minta herself is American."

He turned around and walked out of the cave, his face downcast. Minta remained motionless, but at a closer look, Michael saw that her hands were grasping her necklace tightly.

_Flashback_

_Minta laid on the hospital bed, her dark hair spread on the white pillow like stains. Her left hand was not even hidden, the many scars crisscrossed themselves into ugly knots, some were barely visible while others were swollen, and the latest still bore traces of blood._

"_Sayid, I mean sir!" at the sight of him her originally bitter face lit up due to a radiant smile, which aroused a strange sensation in the body of her visitor._

_Bending down Sayid gave her a gentle and chaste kiss on her forehead before he placed a bunch of white lilies onto her lap. Pulling a chair out, he sat right beside the bed and gently examined her hands. His touch was very cool and soft._

"_Just call me Sayid, outside the classroom I am not your teacher. I can not believe that you have been doing this since you were twelve." He finally said. "And how many times? You turned seventeen a week ago and…"_

"_Why shouldn't I?" Minta whispered, tears squeezing out to rest on her lashes. "My parents both hate me, even now they refuse to see me, leaving only a note saying I deserve to go to the mental institution. Your lilies are the only gift I have received. Then Mandy, the symbol of perfection for my parents, my own twin sister loath me as I am a loner while she is 'Miss Popular'. You wouldn't know…Sayid, the loneness. My parents started to ignore me when I was only ten, I truly ceased to exist before them._

"_I knocked on the door and they would be deaf, I spoke and they would turn the other way. On my twelfth birthday I went home to find the table piled with presents, but they all said: Mandy, not Minta. This was then my gift to myself, slitting my wrist…"_

_Awkwardly he wrapped his arms around her, muttering soothingly to her. He understood the enveloping loneness too well as he was always alone. Orphaned at only eight he took the responsibility of the family onto his shoulders and became the distant fatherly figure to all his siblings. Then as a soldier… a solder learned to be lonely on his first day._

"_What do you plan to do now? After…"_

"_I am not going back to school, I never wanted to return in the first place. I have a job offer, I am going to be a potter!" Minta said excitedly, smiling again. "I will probably rent some tiny room and live on bread to save money but Sayid, I'll be doing the thing I love best. I think I'll be happy."_

"_You won't be coming back to school then…" Sayid said almost sadly. He would certainly miss her presence, the girl who sat in the little corner by herself and would ignore the rest of the class, just as they disregarded her. But whenever he called her name he would see a shy smile forming, the simple relief of a person being kind to her._

"_Minta, since I will no longer be your teacher, maybe I can see you more?" he stuttered. "I must tell you that I have strong emotions for you. When I saw you so cold and stiff on the stretcher, and when you laid with blood flowing out of your wrist, I honestly thought that my heart would stop. I have never felt such sadness in my life before."_

"_You are the only person who actually cares for me, Sayid. Of course I want to be with you. I'll even live with you if you don't mind."_


	3. It is too beautiful a gift

Minta, you loved me so much that you moved in with me, your ex-teacher, causing the greatest scandal of the school. You did not mind that gulf, so is it truly impossible for this barrier to be crossed? Sayid thought as they headed back.

"Um…dude…"

"Yes, Hurley?" Sayid liked the fat guy, he had been the first one here to treat him as someone who was just like the rest of them, the first to see past his heritage of being Iraqi.

"Dude…Minta…"

"What is wrong with Minta? What is it?" Sayid yelled, shaking his friend urgently. "Tell me, tell me!"

"Easy, dude, relax! Minta's fine, it's just that she's playing with the mud by the river and I just started to wander, if it is concussion. Once on TV I saw this thing about it, and the girl started to act like a child by playing with dolls again."

At this Sayid breathed a sigh of relief. "Minta's a potter." But he immediately tensed again. "By the river? Is she fine? Is she panicking in any way?"

Walt had took his duties very seriously, so when Minta half dreamily wandered toward the river, he followed her very carefully. Feeling like a police stalking a criminal, he carefully maintained a distance between them, and all this time constantly darting his glance around, much to the great amusement of his father.

Minta knelt by the waterfall and started to grab fists of mud. Slowly she began the process of building something, all this took the whole day as mud was not a perfect substitute for clay, and there was no equipment either. But a smile slowly lit on her face and her eyes seemed to be growing brighter, more lively.

"Such a crowd..." Sayid whispered to Hurley. "Her position is not blocking any one is it?"

"You can relax on that dude." His friend assured him. "Everyone's just curious to see the result. Hey dude, any idea as to what she is making?"

"A Greek vase," Sayid leant forward slightly to take a closer look, but still managed to remain in the shadows. "Judging by the steam it can be a loutrophorus; a lekythos or a kylix."

"What and what? Dude," Hurley said with a roll of his eyes, "It's all Greek to me!"

Sayid surprised both himself and Hurley by a genuine roar of laughter.

_Flashback_

_He put his arms around her neck and kissed her unbound hair. She giggled slightly and leant back to rest against his chest, smiling in content._

"_Another Greek vase eh?" he laughed, resting his chin on the crown of her hair, still embracing her. "What is it with your company's obsession with these Greek vases? I swear that you are making two per month."_

"_Due to some idiot stealing the kylix I made last week and ended up breaking it, I have to make a replacement." She teased, letting one hand intertwining with his strong arm._

"_It was all for education Minta! To demonstrate radius and area, then the tossing was an example of a parabola." he protested innocently. "So what is this one?"_

"_A loutrophorus."_

"_How do you manage remembering all these bizarre words? It's too much for me, what is it that you English speakers say? 'it's all Greek to me'."_

"_It is Greek silly!" she giggled, slapping him affectionately._

"_Well, no more Greek." Leaning forward he swept her into his arms and carried her to her bedroom, planting her onto her seat in front of her the dressing table. All this time they were laughing and giggling out of their simple delight of being together._

_She felt something cool touching her throat after his fingers lightly brushed and caressed her neck. Looking down she saw a golden cross hanging there._

"_Oh Sayid…it is too beautiful a gift." Minta sobbed, embracing him tightly._

"_Nonsense, every girl turning eighteen deserves a gorges present." He said firmly, feeling the urge of crying too, as this simple cross was the only present she had received since her infancy._


	4. I will let no one hurt her

The vase was finally completed after much work and molding, and then baked over the fire, followed by being underneath the sun. Smiling Minta wrapped the vase into her hands and walked to Sayid. Who, at her approach, quickly bent his head down to study the equipment he was supposed to be fixing.

She touched his fingers slightly as she pushed her handiwork to him. He closed his fingers over hers and she allowed them to linger there for a few second.

"Is this for me?" Sayid asked, his face broke into a enormous smile when she nodded. It was the first sign of her communicating with the world once more. With hope, he pushed his luck even more. "Would you like me to get some water for you?"

Again she nodded eagerly, and her enthusiasm was matched by Sayid's, who immediately abandoned the cluttering mechanics to sprint to the river, clutching to his new treasure.

"Hey, wait for me!" Michael yelled, chasing after Sayid, juggling three water bottles. "I'm going to the river too!"

"Dude, no wonder they are that skinny." Hurley laughed to himself. "If you ever race like that on feet with that weight, then you can defiantly go down more then one notch with your belt."

Walt was still looking at Minta as he had been entrusted to. Although he was only a kid, he could easily see the strain between Sayid and Minta. After all, he had once seen a similar tension between his parents, when they both refused to go to the other and yet wanted to. But in this case it was slightly different.

Meanwhile Sawyer was observing the seemingly fragile girl. A malicious glint appeared in his eyes as the idea come…

"Minta once gave me a loutrophorus, a birthday gift." Sayid explained as the water started to fill the handmade craft. "It is very symbolic as in the Ancient Athenian society, brides would wash in the water brought to them by this vessel."

"Sayid, I had a failed marriage." Michael confessed bluntly. "So I want to help you and Minta, whatever the problem is as long as it is not left too late then there will a way to solve it."

Michael already knew that it would be more then their age gap of eleven years, or even the problem of being from two different cultures.

"Michael, what can I do?" Sayid said brokenly, his hands were shaking, the waters started to dot onto the vase. "After the discovery she just had a nervous breakdown, she tried to drown herself. That dress…in that dress at our honeymoon! I don't know how…I really don't know how to dispel her fears. She now shudders at the mere sight of me…"

"But what is the cause of this?"

"The past." Sayid whispered the words in Arabic before he changed to English again. "The past. My past."

"Maybe more pots?" Jack was gesturing madly, occasionally pointing to the mud and he even knelt down to mold it. But despite his efforts Minta still started at him blankly.

"Store water? Water?" the doctor scratched his head as he pondered on his next action.

"Jack, no one is going to understand this!" Kate snorted, mimicking his gesture, which was twitching his fingers. "Even I don't understand why you are doing that, so how can Minta work out your mimes?"

"Kate, these pots she can make can help us greatly! They will be very good storage vessels, especially for liquids. If we can persuade her to make some more." Jack said excitedly. "I know! Sayid…"

Kate rolled her eyes for the second time, are men all so blind? "Jake, in case you haven't already figure it out there is some problem between Sayid and her."

"What problems? I thought she is his girl friend, if not his fiancée."

Kate's sigh of exasperation was interrupted by Sawyer's chuckles. The Southerner had worked out that Sayid would soon return, so his plan would have to be carried out now. Walking to Minta, whose eyes were still searching for any sign of Sayid, he smiled as he uncovered the object in his hands.

"Recognize this, Sultana?"

It was a roundish pot about 15cm high with the lid engraved: Minta. The pot had various Greekish patterns painted on it. No doubt, this was another one of Minta's handmade craft. Judging by the style and appearance of the object, it was used as some kind of contemporary jewelry box.

Her hand stretched out to grasp it but Sawyer quickly pulled the box away, and tightened his other hand around hers. She now struggled to free herself but it was useless, Sawyer held onto her very firmly.

"I'll give it back, Sultana, if you give me a kiss."

It was clear that she understood as her eyes darkened in disgust and revulsion. She shrank from him and averted her gaze.

"Leave her alone Sawyer!" Jack warned.

"Why? It is just not right for a beautiful girl to be alone." He brushed his lips against her hair, just like how Sayid had attempted one, this caused her to shudder for the second time. Sawyer continued to a shadow at the entrance, waiting for the anger to explode. He knew that Sayid was watching all this. "Beside, it is not as if she have 'Only Sayid may touch me' somewhere on her body.'"

Minta slapped him hard across the face and spat at him to reemphasize her anger.

"It is clear Sawyer," Kate said calmly, "that Minta does not want your company. Why don't you just leave her alone?"

"Yes Sawyer, let go of her." Sayid spelt each word out as if he was spitting, he stepped out from the silhouette and they saw that he was holding his pocket knife, the blade glowering dangerously.

Sawyer flinched at sight of the man. In Sayid's eyes was a cold rage, and also a deadly calmness that scared Sawyer more as he had no doubt that Sayid would kill him if the situation required it.

"You're gonna what? Attack me with that little knife?" Sawyer laughed uneasily, the hint of bravado not disappearing completely due to his pride.

In his moment of hesitation Minta elbowed him hard and darted away. But she did not rush to Sayid or anyone else. She settled herself at an equal distance from both her attacker and rescuer. Her dark eyes were very troubled, and she seemed to be slightly out of breath.

"I will let no one hurt her." Sayid continued in that same flat and chilling tone, continuing to advance to Sawyer with the knife. "give her property back."

"Sayid, it is just a pot!" Jack appeased, trying to break the tension.

"It's what in the pot!" Sayid snapped. "Sawyer, at least give back her inhalers."

"That I do not have to do." Sawyer taunted back, but tensed when the blade touched his throat.

"I said it once but I will say it again. I will do anything and everything for Minta." Sayid said in slow deliberation. "I will let no one hurt my wife."

At this Minta let out a dry sob and ran way from this crowd. Sawyer was immediately forgotten as Sayid started to chase after her, crying out her name. But then he suddenly stopped.

"Why bother?" he asked bitterly.

"Oh Minta, you searched for a hero but ended up with a villain instead."

_Flashback_

_Sayid hated to see her so shut off from the rest of the class, especially when her twin sister was surrounded by flocks of admirers. With her designer labeled clothing and accesses of makeup, Mandy naturally was like the princess. Her sister had to play the role of the slave, a dirty shirt covered by clay from her pottery, jeans that was torn at various parts._

"_Does appearance truly matter so much to teens?" he questioned as he walked to the front of his class. As he past Minta he gave her a smile, and was rewarded by a similar expression._

_Her maths book was already spread out before her, and the margins neatly ruled. This was all out of respect for him as he knew that she does not like the subject. But unlike her twin sister, who still had dozens of fashion magazines in front, she was at least trying for his sake._

"_Good morning," he said, even after two months of teaching he still felt rather nervous at every lesson. He worried that he would mix up his English, or have an accent too strong to be understood._

"_We are learning about basic calculus today…"_

_That lesson seemed to be completely uneventful. The class started to do some exercise and he began to help a boy solving one of the harder problems. A girl then complained of leaving her text book at home._

"_Go into my office and take the spare copy."_

"_There's cockroaches in there!" the girl shrieked._

"_For goodness sake…" he began in exasperation._

"_I'll get it for her." Minta volunteered quietly, reaching her hand out she took the keys he dug from his pocket. There were various keys and at the end a pocket knife dangled alongside a key ring. If he had looked at her eyes more closely then he might have noticed the sudden glint there._

"_Gosh, she is such a goody-good and weirdo." Many said viciously._

"_What kind of sister are you?" Sayid said darkly, silencing her._

_As minutes tickled pass Sayid had to glance inconspicuously at his student's watch as he felt that by looking at his own watch would be too obvious a sign._

"_Why is she taking so long?" the girl who had asked for the spare book pouted, not because she really wanted to do Maths or care about Minta, but because of Sayid's threat of keeping any who did not complete certain questions in at their interval._

"_I'll go and see, Mandy, come with me." He decided when fifteen minutes had passed._

_He never expected that sight though! She was leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. Her right hand grasped his knife tightly while her left hand laid limply on the ground. He now knew why she always wore long sleeves: to cover her scars. But now the bloods soaked through her top, running down to every where._

"_Call an ambulance!" Sayid ordered her daze twin. Taking his handkerchief he knotted it around her wrist, trying to stop the blood flowing._

_Trying to save her._

"_Why, Minta? Why?"_


	5. Perhaps loosing an eye will loosen your ...

"I am not going to say in the caves Jack." Sayid said firmly. "But I do admit, it will be better for Minta to go there."

At this the two men both turned to Minta, who was making a pot for the storage of water. She purposely evaded their gaze by bending down.

"Will you look after her for me?" Sayid begged.

Jack nodded but did not fulfilled his promise, as Sayid had barely reached the entrance when he heard a splash, to be followed by her scream!

Spinning around he saw that Sawyer had pulled Minta into the river, and she was thrashing madly, screaming wordlessly. Even though Sawyer was clearly taken back at her reaction, Sayid could not quench the anger boiling inside him.

He punched Sawyer hard and picked her up. She was panicking so much that she was completely oblivious to his touch. Her body was still shaking and she continued her screams.

"Minta, you are safe!" Sayid coaxed to her, putting her onto his lap and rocking her gently.

She shook her head but did stop screaming, only to start choking. Her face became so pale as she tried to breath, but dry gulps of air come instead. Tears streamed down as she struggled to breath.

"Asthma…" Jack said in horror, scrambling in his brain for a solution.

"You are the doctor, do something!" Sayid demanded in semi-hysteria, his coolness and calmness slipping fast. Turning to Sawyer, who was still spitting out water, he cried out angrily. "Can you not see how much she is suffering? Give the inhalers back!"

"Sawyer!" this time the other man did look at Sayid. The panicking tone had suddenly changed to a very flat one, one that meant business. "I know why you are doing this. You hate me and so try to hurt me through Minta's pain. I don't care if you hate me due to whatever reason, but what did she do to you to deserve this?"

"It is not without reasons that I hate you Sayid." Sawyer said coldly. "And you can forget about ever having the inhalers back."

"Is that so? If you don't give her inhalers back then I will give you reasons to hate me." Sayid promised to the departed man.

Minta grabbed him and this time her tears were from emotion, and she kept on shaking her head.

"There is no other way," he said gently, "I will not let you suffer like this."

Turning to Jack Sayid asked very businesslike. "Can she last five minutes?"

Seeing the nod he tenderly pricked her fingers off him and stood up. "I will be back in five minutes with the inhalers."

"Sayid, Sawyer is not going to see reason easily." Jack warned as he and Michael both ran after him, leaving Minta in the care of Kate.

"Who says that I will be reasoning with him? You asked me why she is afraid of me, I will tell you." Sayid snarled as he snapped a piece of bamboo off and started to sharpen it. "She discovered that I was a torturer."

At this blunt statement neither Michael or Jack knew what to say. Finally Michael asked dumbfounded: "I thought you are a maths teacher."

"When I went to America I became a maths teacher. But in Iraq…"

"You said that you were a communication officer when you were in the army."

"My job involved getting the enemy to communicate." Sayid explained without any emotion. "I just need five minutes."

As Michael and Jack looked into his face they immediately shared the mutual relief that Sayid was not angry with them, and the second thought was that they actually felt sorry for Sawyer.

"Sawyer!" Sayid greeted the just waken man coldly. "Good morning."

The last thing Sawyer remembered was the raising first of Sayid, the next time he opened his eyes, he was seeing the first once more.

"Some hero you are." He spat angrily, trying to loosen the tight wires Sayid had purposely used as a more painful substitute of rope. "Attacking a guy when he was napping."

"And what of you? Withholding the sole substance that might save a woman's life just because you hate her husband." Sayid replied flatly. "For her sake, I will give you this one last chance. Where is it?"

"For goodness sake, just tell him!" Jack yelled, not sure whether he could watch this. "It does not need to be like this."

As Sawyer snorted Sayid crouched in front of the tied up man, holding the sharpened bamboos up. "We do not have bamboos in Iraq, but we do have something similar…"

As Sayid continued to explain the finer refinement of torture in vivid details, both Michael and Jack were slowly backing away from the man. They both knew that he was a solider, one who experienced many hardship and pain due to the corruption of his country's government, but they would never have connected him with this being.

An interrogator; a torturer; likely even a murderer. His voice was so chilling because of their calmness, foretelling the merciless actions he would soon commit. Sawyer, who faced Sayid, finally understood the mistakes that he had made.

But he was a man who never knew when to stop, and was to proud to beg for forgiveness. So he continued taunting his opponent.

"You know, despite all this Ali, I think you've never actually tortured anyone before."

"Unfortunately for us both, you're wrong." Sayid said steadily with the faintest hint of bitterness in his voice as he drove the bamboos in.

Sawyer was tortured, while Michael and Jack were deeply frightened. This man who was so gentle and tender to his wife, who would pick a flower for her everyday with the hope of her wearing it, who treated her like the most sacred and precious object in the world.

"I understand now…" Michael gasped when he finally stopped vomiting, having made the mistake of looking at Sawyer's hand.

"This is why Minta had her nervous breakdown." Sayid said, a flicker of sadness crept into his eyes. "But I will not let her get hurt by anyone else!"

"Stopping now? Is that all you got?" Sawyer chocked, struggling to regain his breathings. "Bamboos for 10 seconds, no wonder we kicked your ass in the gulf war."

A seemingly light backhand slap actually drew blood from his lip.

"Believe me Sawyer, I can do this all day if it need to be all day." Sayid proclaimed. "But since you request more…

"Perhaps losing an eye will loosen your tongue?"

When the knife flashed over Sawyer's eyes he knew that Sayid would do it.

"I don't have it! I don't! I never did!" Sawyer screamed. "I found the box…the pot on the beach. It was empty, I swear!"

Much as he refused to accept the answer, Sayid was experienced and trained well enough to know when a man was lying and when he wasn't. Right now, unbelievable as it was, Sawyer was telling the truth.

"And you made me do this again! _Yebnen kelp._" Sayid spat in Arabic. "Cutting this lying instrument off will be no lose to the human race."

"Sayid, calm down!" Michael entreated. "Think of Minta."

"Thank of Minta? This will probably kill her when she learns of it. So why should I not take this one's tongue as a last enjoyment?"

The loud footsteps distracted Sayid from carrying out his promise. A slightly flushed but happy Kate ran in the scene, tugging a healthy Minta.

"Sun found herbal medications!" Kate said excitedly, but grimaced as soon as she observes the surroundings. "Please don't tell me that…"

Minta took a deep breath and walked to Sayid, who still stood in front of his victim with the knife hovering near Sawyer's face. Gently she jerked the knife out of Sayid's hand and then clung onto him.

The first tears came as she remembered the past once more. Sayid held onto her tightly and could only mutter three words over and over again.

"I am sorry."

_Flashback_

"_Minta Daniel, that sounds so pretty. I am glad that your missionary friends didn't just give the name Smith or Bob to you." She teased._

"_Daniel was suppose to be my first name but I just can't throw both my last and first name away, I felt that I am pretending to not be Iraqi. So instead of Daniel Smith, I choose Sayid Daniel. Now," he waltzed her lightly around their hotel room. "What about our walk?"_

_The two of them decided to go to Australia for their honeymoon after their very plain wedding. They simply stood at the church, he was in his most formal clothing: his only pair of suit pants with a buttoned shirt, it was short sleeved but still better then the t-shirts and vests he would wear. She was in the blue dress he had brought: skimpy at the top but ground touching at the bottom; the circle of daisy chains on her hair was her only ornament. _

"_I wish I can give you an ivory silk gown with a lacy veil trailing behind you, and diamonds with amber on your neck and hair. A wedding worthy enough for a princess." He said regretfully as he looked at her, she was in her blue wedding gown once more._

"_Don't be silly, I don't care at all!" she said firmly. "I just want to be with you. Every morning I would wake up and just feel so deliriously happy as I am now your wife."_

_They then walked down hand in hand, so happy and blissful. The receptionist watched the honeymoon couple fondly, recalling her own honeymoon. Smiling she approached them._

"_A letter from America for you, Mrs Daniel." She was lost in her own memories to notice the frown at the sight of the address._

"_Better read it and get it over with." Sayid warned Minta._

"_I don't care what my parents think, just because you are Iraqi and is a Christian. Well, a Jewish girl can't go more wrong then marrying a Christian Arab." Minta said bitterly as she tore the letter open. After reading the first sheet she laughed. "Oh this is ridiculous even from them! 'Minta, your partner is a killer, get away from him quick or he will murder you. Come back and we will acknowledge you as our daughter once more.' How pathetic, it is as if they took this out from a film."_

_Sayid found the smile on his face very strained._

"_Let's see what they wrote on the second page…"_

_The paper dropped from his hand, Sayid saw the pictures of his forgotten memories glaring at him. Beside these was his file, he didn't know how her parents got these government secrets but there it was._

"_Sayid, they are lying right?" she implored. "These are all fake! You can't be a torturer! You are just some Iraqi soldier who got out of a war torn country by the aid of Christian missionaries. You have killed before but you are not a…"_

"_I am a torturer." He whispered hoarsely. "No, I was a torturer. But Minta…"_

_She turned away from him, shook herself loose out of his embrace. A he approached her she darted away: a bird with her wings broken, a girl with her dreams dead._

_He wanted to grab her into his arms to either explain or beg for her forgiveness. But she was so frightened and shocked that she could only run away from him. In her desperation she fell into the sea._

_He swam after her, trying to put his arms around her, only to be hit and slapped. Accidentally she tripped and sank into the sea, the water soaked into her. All this time she was pushing him away._

_Sayid was to carry his unconscious wife out of the ocean, and when she opened her eyes the fear in them made him weep. She was afraid of him…she flinched at his gaze…trembled at his touch._

_Since that day a week ago, she stopped talking._


	6. Forgive me

Minta stood in front of the sea, uncertain of what would come. But then she had never really know what she should do, Sayid had always been the one that organized everything, any phone calls and bills…

Her hands were enclosed over the leafs Sun had gave her: medications. She loathed her asthma because it was the constant reminder of her lonely home. Her parents had shut her in a little attic that contained all the signs of an asthmatic room. Back then she seemed to be using her inhaler every day, but when she lived with Sayid the attacks rarely come. Maybe it really was mental as Jack suggested.

If only she didn't have asthma, or at the least if she didn't panic when Sawyer shoved her in the water. At this she shook her head angrily, there was too many 'if only's' in her life.

Now Sayid had that haunted expression on his face once more, the guilt visible and gnarring all part of his face. She had seen him with that deep a guilt before, when he learnt about September Eleventh, and when she woke up after her suicide attempt during their honeymoon.

"Minta…" his voice gently reached her, as always they lifted her up and carried her to him.

She put her hands onto him, wanting to give him comfort by this simple gesture. Seeing the backpack she frowned, there was no obvious expeditions or trips.

"I can't stay here anymore." He said softly.

She shook her head fiercely, putting her hands around the straps she tried to tug the backpack off.

"Minta, I love you and it is partly for you that I am leaving. Since I first saw you I wanted to protect you, but I now know that I am the one you fear the most, and your greatest source of danger." She shook her head again, clinging onto him as she would in the past.

"No, even if you come back to me I still can't stay. I can not remain with you when I am unable to protect your from myself." He stroked her cheeks gently before kissing her on the forehead, then continued. "What I did today- what I almost did- I swore to do never again. If I can't keep that promise I have no right to be here. To be beside you as your husband.

"But remember, I love you, and always will." Sayid ended tenderly.

She watched him walk away from her, his footsteps continuing to the opposite end of the beach, soon to be washed away by the tide. He never once looked back, as doing that would make him abandon his resolve in leaving.

Her mouth moved but no words came out. She tried again and again. Until she finally managed the slightly whisper, barely visible.

"Sayid."

"Sayid." She repeated once more, this time her voice was stronger. "Sayid."

"Sayid…forgive me."


	7. It is not your fault

Sawyer was not the best of men but he was defiantly not a complete bastard as most believed. He had to nurse his finger the whole night with Jack, which gave him an occasion to ponder. After Kate ran in with the news of Sayid's departure, his conscious was raised.

He felt that he was greatly to blame, if it wasn't for the reason of the man being Iraqi then he would never have done such a thing to his wife. But even if the man was Iraqi it still does not mean that…

"I know that he left out of guilt for torturing Sawyer." Kate was saying.

Although Sawyer would be the last to admit so, he felt that his tortures were well justified.

"Where is Minta then? How is she taking this?" Jack whispered.

"I don't know! She seems to be back in the trance she was in when we first saw her. Right now, she is kneeling on the sand."

"Praying!" Sawyer half chocked. "She is praying!"

The thought that Sayid was not Islamic suddenly formed in Sawyer's mind. Once more, he cursed himself for being such a stereotype. He should have realized this when he first saw Sayid with the bible. A cross had dangled from the end of the ribbon, and the words _HOLY BIBLE_ were the English alphabets. But at the time he had merely thought Sayid was leafing through a discarded loot, since he associated Sayid with those turban wearers.

It must have belonged to Sayid, as he had been reading the book in such a deep concentration, his mouths shaping the words.

Determined to do something alongside redemption, Sawyer ran out of the cave to the beach.

Minta clutched to her cross tightly and started to pray.

"To our Father in Heaven: you have been so kind to both Sayid and I…Sayid was the only who brought me to you, showing me that I have a father who loves me…

"Father, I have been so foolish, Sayid does not deserve someone who is stupid like me! He did all this for me but all I do is bringing him more pain and sorrow. What good am I to him? All I ever do is cry.

"Please, let him forgive me somehow…no, Father, please just protect Sayid. So that he will be safe…"

Her incoherent prayers ended with a sob, his heart finally moved Sawyer approached her.

"Minta, I want to apologize." He said softly.

"Apologize to Sayid!" she lashed out, right now she wanted to attack this man, as he had been partly responsible for Sayid's departure.

"I would if I could." He said sincerely, kneeling on the sand beside her. "But as he is not here, you must accept this apology on his behalf. The thing is…Minta, I had a little sister and she died in the twin towers at September Eleventh. She was my only relative."

Her eyes softened slightly but they were still glowering.

"He was in America at that time, Sawyer! And he was probably more upset then anyone else. I remember it so well…"

_Flashback_

"_I am so tired…" Minta moaned with a yawn. "And it is only about four."_

"_You go to sleep and I'll go and make you something very nice for dinner at six." Sayid promised, kissing her before he let her go._

_Laughing he started to rummage the pantry for ingredients. He managed to find the remote, for some bizarre reason it was shoved inside the cereal box. Shrugging he switched the television on._

_Usually Minta forbids him watching television and doing chores at the same time. Her reason was that he always focus on the television so much that he ends up "Putting the whole jar of salt into the soup, or vacuum the curtain in" while he watched the news._

_The screen completely stunned him. The two twin towers were crumbling before his very eyes, the planes flew into it in slow motion. Clenching his hand tightly together, he knelt down and did the only thing he could do: to pray._

_Praying for all the innocent people who died in the twin towers, praying for his foolish brothers who believed that they were doing the right thing, and last of all, for himself._

_He felt ashamed to be Iraqi and he was even more ashamed of that shame._

_Minta found him still kneeling in front of the television at six am the following morning. He was still praying between sobs with his hands tightly clasped together._

"_Oh Sayid, it is not your fault." She repeated, putting her arms around him. "Sayid, you are not responsible."_

_He stopped teaching for that whole year and worked voluntarily in hospitals and hospices as a penance. Even then many of the staff and patients glared at him for being Middle-Eastern. One even spat at him under the full view of a crowd._

_Sayid resumed his old job when the year was up but old grudges were hard to forget. When the anniversary for the fatal day arrived four students openly pelted him with rubbish, and he had threats placed on his desk by parents, students and staffs._

_The only relief he had was from Minta and his church brethrens. Not one of them linked him with any act of terrorism, and if someone insulted him under their knowledge they would immediately defend him._

_Minta had her own problems because of him, her parents sent more threatening letters about him as a terrorist and a plane hijacker. _

_She burnt them all._

_She never realized that he was so upset because of his actions in the past, he felt guilty. Although Sayid had never tortured anyone other then the so-called rebels and traitors, he still felt as if had had played a part in all this._


	8. Now I finally understand

"Alright, when he come back I'll apologize to him." Sawyer was saying.

The screaming in Korean suddenly interrupted them. Turning, they saw Jin shaking Sun furiously. He seemed to be worked up about something as he was weeping, while Sun remained so stiff, not even raising her voice.

"Marriage must be quite a challenge." Sawyer said casually. "Michael and Walt's mother; you and Sayid; now Jin and Sun. It's lucky that I'm a born bachelor."

She smiled at his attempt of starting a conversation with her, what a strange man. Or maybe he was just like most men. Having to maintain a masculine dignity by being tougher then anyone else.

Sayid never did that, he was different from everyone. A memory of the very first stage of their honeymoon appeared.

They had been sitting on the beach after they made love for the first time, he held her tightly while his other hand rested on her belly.

"Maybe our child is already there, maybe even now our child is listening to us." He had said in wonder.

"And which one do you want? A daughter or a son?" she had asked, putting her hand over his.

"A daughter, a little Minta. I want a little girl who will be exactly like her mother, beautiful and gentle- only that she will be greatly loved by her parents."

"I want to help Sun and Jin." Minta stated, she stood up and walked to the arguing couple. The wind tossed her hair and gently blew the edge of her skirt. For a moment she looked so unworldly, a siren emerging from the ocean.

Enchanted, Sawyer leapt up and followed her.

"I see my marriage in theirs, only that Sun have not really find out."

After he questioned her sudden understanding of English, Jin had learnt that Sun was actually planning to leave him at the Sydney airport, he couldn't really blame her for wanting to after all that he did, but her emotionless face upsets him so much.

"Can't you ever forgive me for what I did for your father?" he implored.

She shook her head. "It is not a matter of me forgiving you."

"Sun, Jin," Minta's voice temporarily put a halt to their argument. Jin was rather surprised to find the silent girl suddenly speaking but Sun was less shocked, after all, if she could speak English then who was to deny that Minta was not mute?

"I need to tell you two something. My story: my relationship and my marriage with Sayid. Sun, will you translate for your husband?"

Minta described how Sayid had been her knight, saving her from her depression and giving her a home, and how he loved her so much. Yet she did not hide any detail in regard to the fatal night of their honeymoon, when she had a mental breakdown and ended up trying to suicide again.

"Sayid kept on asking me to forgive him, but I realized that I was not afraid because of what he did, it was because of what he might do. It is pathetic but I was afraid of him out of the fear of him hurting me. Seeing his hands I thought of how he had applied these to torture and the idea of him torturing me would come…

"But now I finally understand, and yet Sayid is gone from me. I do not want what happened to me happen to you and Jin."

Tearfully Sun translated the last sentence, her husband immediately embraced her. After much talks Jin finally turned to Minta and muttered something to her. Even though Minta had no knowledge of Korean, she knew that is was a thanks accompanied by a hopeful wish.

"But I am not ready to speak to anyone else yet." Minta added.

Sun nodded as she placed her finger onto her lips. Explaining that she and Jin have many discussions, they left hand in hand.

"That was amazing." Sawyer said truthfully. "I never thought that anyone could pacify that man."

Minta nodded absently, her eyes staring at the end of the beach once more.

"Jin said that he hope Sayid will soon return. Do you think he will ever come back? Is it possible for him to come back?" she implored.

Sawyer assured comfortingly. "Sayid's the type that will always survive. When he come back, we'll make him stay."

"He had never yelled at me before." She said sadly. "I don't think he had even once raised his voice at me."

A strange friendship bloomed between Sawyer and Minta, much to everyone's surprise Sawyer seemed to take over the job of looking after her. He filled up Minta's water bottle and saved food for her. She rewarded him with smiles which was once again, a surprise for everyone else.

There was also the new affection between Jin and Sun. It was clear that Minta was involved as she spent quite a lot of her time with the two Koreans.

"Something is going on." Michael finally said, he had been talking with Sun that morning when Jin suddenly came back. Instead of yelling at his wife or glaring at Michael, Jin smiled and even slapped the other man's back.

"Tell me about it." Jack muttered as he glanced at Sawyer, who was helping Minta to find more leaves for her asthma. A sudden idea appeared. "You don't think he's trying to seduce her do you?"

"Seduce a woman in that way?" Kate interrupted, laughing hard at this concept. "To tell her 'I'm sure that Sayid will come back.' And even if that was his intention, Minta keeps on going to the beach to wait for Sayid. I think Sawyer actually just fond a friend, and frankly what is wrong with that?"


	9. So you are willing to be with me again

Sayid was in the forest, running…escaping…fleeing…but from who? The crazy French woman Danielle or the Iraqi torturer Sayid?

For the first time in his life Sayid had been at the receiving end of a strong interrogation. He finally understand how it feel like, the pain was important but it was the feeling of hopelessness that mattered more. Several times during Danielle's tortures he actually started to laugh hysterically.

It was just so ironic that he, Sayid, should be tortured, considering the large number of people who had suffered due to him. It was a fitting punishment really.

"Forgive me God." He whispered over and over. "Forgive me Minta."

"Never again, never again." He added.

He wanted to go back, to see Minta. He didn't know what he must do but he did not think that he could remain alone anymore.

Something he do know was that he would never torture another being in his life, no matter whatever happens, even if it involved his beloved wife.

He was now using his rifle as a staff, pressing his hand onto his forehead he withdrew it quickly, as it seemed to be burning, leaving invisible scorches on his hand. Half delirious and half feverish he continued, whispering her name.

Seeing the familiar lines of the beach he smiled, was that a figure in front of him? She seemed to be glowing with halos of light surrounding her.

Sayid collapsed right in front of Minta.

He wasn't aware of it but during his fever Minta spent every moment with him. She listened to his accounts of his encounter with Danielle, who tortured him and would have killed him.

All this time he thought she was some angel who planned to take him away from her.

"If this is the time I must die then I will consent, but I only wish that I can see her again.

"When Danielle asked me why she should let me live I told her that I have a wife who I love so much, and if I die, it will kill her, because I will die if she dies. I know that even after all this, Minta never stopped loving me. Can you at least tell her that I love her so much?

"I saw Minta as my redemption, a sign of forgiveness sent by God. I then vowed to protect her, I never once thought that I would need to protect her from myself. I had hurt her more then anyone else as she loves me, I am the cause of her trying to kill herself again."

"Oh Sayid, she knows. She knows!" Minta whispered. "You will live, and as soon as you are healed you will find her kneeling by your bed, waiting to tell you that she loves you."

Yet when Sayid finally gained consciousness it was Sawyer he saw.

"What do you want?" Sayid asked angrily at the other man's approach.

"Perhaps here to get a payback." Sawyer taunted, finding the apology a bit hard to force out of his throat. However, he regretted the barb as soon as he released it, as he knew that he owned a 'I'm sorry' to both Sayid and Minta.

He needed to admit his mistakes.

"You want a shot, take it." Sayid said coolly, "I will not strike back, but know that it is out of shame, not out of fear."

"So you will actually let me beat the living snot out of you?" Sawyer asked, clearly taken back.

"It will not be the worst that has happened to me due to what I did in the past, no." Sayid seemed to have forgotten all about Sawyer. "No, the most horrifying pain is to see the fears in her eyes…"

"I actually came to apologize." At this remark Sayid snorted. "I am serious. I will forgive you for torturing me if you can forgive me for holding you responsible for my sister's death at September Eleventh because you are Iraqi, and for wanting to get my revenge through Minta."

Bewildered Sayid nodded. "I guess I can but I will rather you apologize to Minta."

"I did." The other man admitted. "And you are a very lucky man in your choice of marriage."

"Where is she?" Sayid cried out, his heart in his voice. "Where is Minta? Does she even know that I am back?"

"You don't know where she is?" it was Sawyer's turn of being surprised. "When you were away every day she would go to the shores and wait…pray for your return. And when you did come back she nursed you, she stayed with you throughout your sickness. We had to bring her food as she refused to leave you."

Stumbling onto his half-steady feet Sayid staggered out of the cave and went to the beach, knowing that she would be there.

He was right, he found her standing waist deep in the sea. She was so beautiful, he immediately recollected the early phases of their honeymoon, before her nervous breakdown, before he had hurt her so much.

"Minta…" he whispered as he stepped into the ocean.

She immediately went to him and held him tightly.

"Sayid…" she whispered back. "Sayid, I love you."

"I love you too, but why did you leave me when I was finally going to wake up?" he asked, clearly hurt. He stroked her face and ran his hand through her hair, satisfying his need of her presence after a whole week of absence.

"I was afraid that you wouldn't want to see me after all I did to you…" she explained guiltily.

"Why? You never did anything wrong." He sealed any further guilt with a kiss. "So you are willing to be with me again?"

"I want to! I want to so much!" she said firmly. "I want to continue our honeymoon."

They kissed once more and laughing Sayid lifted Minta up to carry her onto the beach. Then they made love on the sands, not caring for the rest of the world as they had each other once more.

_Author's Note: It sure was fun writing this. I have got more stories with the two of them in it so if anyone actually want to read it then please tell me and I'll type them up. The others do come out more in the next few, but still not that much as the central focus is Sayid._


End file.
